My husband has locked himself in a hotel room. Do I check up on him or leave him there to hit bottom without checking on him?

There are those who say, “Leave him there. He has to hit his bottom.” Others would say, “Determine why you want to help him. If it is to soothe yourself, leave him alone and work on yourself. If to make…

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“All of my friends’ kids/spouses are successful, mine is struggling. What do I say to them?”

Sharing the good news of what is happening with one’s kids is something that starts when they start crawling and continues all through life. But what happens when you don’t have news to report? when your child is struggling with…

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Stop Walking on Eggshells with your Struggling Loved One!

Ever feel like being in relationship with a using or newly sober loved one is like tiptoeing on eggshells –  and the eggshells keep breaking no matter how softly you tread? For many family members, the stress and worry get so bad…

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Oh No! She Did It Again! I Can’t Believe it!

Do you ever get shocked when a loved one uses, even though they just used or drank or acted out yesterday or last week? If so, this blog is for you. This shock or disbelief when an actively using loved…

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Progress Not Perfection

Whether you have been BALMing for a year or two or a month or two or a day or two, there are aspects of Being A Loving Mirror that you are doing well and others that may be really hard…

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Are you clear about what is going on with your loved one?

One of the most common answers family members new to coaching give when asked to detail what is actually going on with their loved one is, “I don’t know.” I don’t know. If you have a loved one who struggles…

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Advocate for your loved one’s recovery NOT for their desires!

Perhaps you’ve met a family like this. The daughter was constantly saying she would stop drinking, that she could do this, that she didn’t need ANOTHER treatment, that it just wouldn’t help anyway, that she needed to do it on…

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Sallie’s Granddaughter Relapses

“…you have enabled Melissa in the past. I also believe you stalled Melissa’s recovery process by not setting boundaries and by being a safe haven for her drug usage.” “I remember,” Sallie said solemnly. “but this time can be different….

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Sallie And Dan: A Love Story

Walking away, she decided to do something. Not having a phone book, she went to the only reliable guide she knew: google and put in “wife of addict desparate for help.” What came up were all of these sites for…

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Melissa and Sandy Concoct a Plan

Melissa paused…recalling the events of the morning in her mind. “Until we drove past mom and I started to snap out of it.” Sandy added, “It’s true. We saw you driving by and Melissa suddenly wanted to come back home….

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